The #1 Quality to Attain Real Freedom

What if the secret to unlocking true freedom wasn’t about doing more, but about mastering one simple quality?

Self-disciplined is a space in where I share my philosophy on how to attain discipline, gain confidence and efficiency and get your time back to do the things you love doing.

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Hello everyone!

We’re nearing the end of October, and with that, Halloween is just around the corner 🎃!

Candies, candies, sweet candies—who doesn’t love them? The problem is when we get a little too carried away. A sugar rush followed by regret. Sound familiar? It does to me.

Today, I want to talk about something that goes beyond avoiding candy overload: the number one quality that can help us in moments like these and, more importantly, help us achieve real freedom—self-control.

Self-control is the foundation that leads to true freedom in life — we’ll get to that in a bit. When you’re in control of your choices and actions, you’re no longer at the mercy of external forces or fleeting desires. But what happens when you don’t have it?

The Importance of Self-Control

To paint the picture, let’s rewind to 2008. Remember the global financial crisis? It wasn’t just a hiccup in the economy; it was caused by a bunch of banks getting greedy. They lent money to people who couldn’t afford to pay it back, packaged those risky loans into complex financial products, and chased short-term profits without thinking about the long-term consequences. And what happened? The whole thing collapsed like a house of cards.

Image from Santa Clara University (scu.edu)

That’s what happens when self-control is missing. The lack of discipline from major financial institutions didn’t just impact a few—it created economic chaos worldwide. Millions of people lost their homes, jobs, and savings.

Now, I’m not saying your lack of self-control will cause a global meltdown, but the ripple effect is real. Whether it’s in our personal lives or on a much larger scale, discipline is key to avoiding unnecessary chaos. So, let’s talk about why self-control matters—starting with us.

The Smartphone Era

A lot of us remember a time before smartphones, when our ability to focus wasn’t constantly hijacked by notifications, likes, and the endless scroll. Back then, we could head out, get things done, and hit goals without being distracted every few minutes. But let’s face it: since smartphones came along, our dependence on them has skyrocketed. Year after year, we’re getting more and more tied to our screens, and with that, we’ve lost some control over our lives¹.​

As our reliance on smartphones grows, we start giving away control. Whether it’s social media, tech, or habits like stress-eating or binge-watching, we end up surrendering a huge chunk of our autonomy. The more we hand control over to these external influences, the more we spiral into other dependencies—on food, alcohol, or technology itself. All of this takes a toll on our mental health, relationships, and even our careers²³. When we lose control, we lose freedom. Something else starts calling the shots.

Self-Control = Freedom

The Stoic philosopher Epictetus said it best: “No man is free who is not master of himself”. That hits home because the minute we regain control, we get the freedom to choose what to do with our lives. Self-control isn’t just about avoiding bad habits; it’s about choosing what NOT to do. It’s easy to try doing everything—to be a jack of all trades—but real freedom comes from deciding what’s worth your time and energy and cutting out the rest. That’s where true freedom lies.

Let’s go back to the 2008 financial collapse and take Michael Burry as an example. He’s the guy who saw the crisis coming. While the rest of the world was caught up in the chaos of subprime mortgages, Burry stayed disciplined. He did the hard work of studying the numbers, ignoring the noise, and sticking to his convictions. Even when everyone thought he was crazy, he had the self-control to stay the course and not be swayed by the allure of short-term gains. And when the market collapsed, he came out on top.

Christian Bale as Michael Burry on the movie “The Big Short”

By exercising self-control and sticking to his strategy, Burry didn’t just profit—he gained freedom. Freedom from the crowd’s influence and the ability to shape his own financial future. His disciplined approach gave him the power to dictate his own success, rather than being swayed by market trends.

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How to Build Self-Control

We all admire stories like Michael Burry’s, where intense discipline leads to big wins. But being real—self-control is often built in the small, everyday moments when nobody’s watching. If you’re wondering how to build that kind of discipline for yourself, here are some strategies I’ve found to work:

1. Set Clear Goals
   You’ve got to know where you’re going. When your goals are clear, it’s a lot easier to focus your energy and cut out distractions. Break those big goals down into smaller, bite-sized tasks. This not only makes them less overwhelming, but it gives you a sense of progress—and nothing motivates like progress. Divide and conquer.

2. Practice Mindfulness
   Staying present is key. A lot of times, we get caught up in impulses without even realizing it. Practicing mindfulness—whether it’s through meditation, deep breathing, or just pausing for a moment—helps you become aware of those urges before they derail you. It’s like taking a mental step back before reacting. This has been somewhat crucial to me, especially because it helps me deal with anxiety.

3. The Five-Minute Rule
   The hardest part of any task? Just getting started. That’s where the five-minute rule comes in. If something feels overwhelming, commit to working on it for just five minutes. Once you’re in the flow, you’ll likely keep going, and boom—you’re doing the thing you didn’t want to do. I wrote a brief article about this here.

4. Remove Temptations
   Willpower is great, but it’s not infinite. Instead of relying on it all the time, make things easier for yourself by removing temptations. Keep distractions like your phone out of sight while working or use apps that block certain websites. It’s way easier to stay on track when temptation isn’t right in your face. I just put my phone on my pocket or leave it in my bedroom.

5. Practice Delayed Gratification
   Self-control is all about patience. If you can wait on the short-term rewards in favor of long-term success, you’re already ahead. Next time you feel tempted, set a timer—whether it’s for ten minutes or an hour. You’ll be surprised how often that craving fades if you just give it a little time. I’m going through this right now on my weight loss journey — topic for another day.

6. Create Healthy Routines
   Here’s the thing: routines simplify life. When you build healthy habits, you don’t have to think about them—they’re just automatic. Whether it’s working out, writing, or even checking emails, establishing a routine makes discipline almost effortless. Creating systems helps a lot, believe me.

7. Use Positive Reinforcement
   Don’t be afraid to reward yourself. Every time you exercise self-control, give yourself a small reward. It could be something simple like a break or treating yourself to something enjoyable. Positive reinforcement makes it easier to repeat those behaviors.

8. Visualize Long-Term Outcomes
   Keep the endgame in mind. When you’re tempted to stray, visualize how sticking to your discipline will pay off in the long run. Picture where you want to be in six months or a year—this mental image can help you push through the immediate distractions.

9. Get Enough Sleep
   Self-control is hard when you’re tired. If you’re sleep-deprived, your decision-making ability tanks. Prioritizing sleep helps you stay focused and in control of your actions. It’s a really basic thing, but it makes a huge difference.

10. Learn from Setbacks
    Nobody’s perfect. The important thing is not to beat yourself up when you slip—it’s to learn from it —, this is something that I say to the engineers I work with, we are human and we all have ups and downs. Every mistake is a chance to get better. So if you mess up, reflect on what went wrong and figure out how to avoid it next time.

Building self-control is a process. These strategies can help you create the kind of discipline that makes a real difference in your life. Bit by bit, they help you get better at becoming a master of yourself.

The Risk of Over-Exercising Self-Control

While self-control is very important for achieving goals, over-exercising it can lead to negative consequences. One big risk is burnout—when you push yourself too hard, constantly denying short-term pleasures or rest, you can become mentally and physically exhausted. Over time, this can make you rigid, overly strict, and closed off to opportunities that require flexibility or spontaneity. Additionally, excessive self-control can lead to feelings of deprivation, which might backfire and result in overindulgence later.

A well-known example of excess self-control leading to burnout is Nikola Tesla. Tesla was known for his extreme discipline and obsessive work habits, often working long hours without sleep, food, or breaks. His dedication drove significant technological advancements, but his lack of moderation took a toll. Tesla reportedly suffered from mental breakdowns and periods of exhaustion, a result of his relentless pursuit of perfection and self-control. This ultimately led to his isolation and personal decline.

The Balance Between Self-Control and Moderation

Burnout isn’t uncommon in high-discipline professions. For example, 48.2% of physicians reported symptoms of burnout in 2023, as the constant need for discipline and control pushed them to their limits⁴​. Legal and tech professions show similar trends, where high expectations and self-imposed pressure contribute to burnout⁵⁶.

So how do we balance self-control and flexibility? The answer is moderation. While self-control is essential for achieving long-term goals, over-exerting it can be counterproductive. Moderation is about knowing when to push yourself and when to allow some relaxation. Practicing moderation prevents burnout, keeps you adaptable, and allows for small rewards along the way. It ensures that discipline remains sustainable rather than becoming rigid and unsustainable.

The Prison of Burnout

When we push ourselves too hard without moderation, we trap ourselves in a cycle of productivity, obligation, and emotional exhaustion. This leaves little room for self-care or genuine rest, stripping away the freedom to enjoy life, make conscious choices, or even pursue passions beyond the grind. I’ve been guilty of this.

In this sense, burnout becomes a mental and emotional prison. You feel forced to keep going, driven by external pressures or self-imposed standards, but you lose the ability to experience true freedom of mind and spirit. Burnout creates a sense of enslavement to your work or responsibilities, where you feel like you have no choice but to keep going—at the expense of your well-being.

By over-exerting self-control without balance, we paradoxically lose control of our lives. We become trapped by the very standards we set for ourselves. This loss of freedom weighs down our ability to find joy, creativity, and meaningful connection. Finding balance through moderation can prevent this self-imposed lack of freedom and restore a sense of personal agency.

Takeaways

Burry and Tesla’s stories are great reminders of why self-control with moderation matters. Self-control is freedom, but with a disclaimer: self-control is freedom when exercised in moderation. When you take control of your decisions and focus on what truly matters, you’re no longer a slave to distractions or external influences. You get to choose your path.

Just be careful not to over-restrict yourself and take away the joys of life with it.

Have a wonderful week!

1. Which comes first: Smartphone dependency or depression? — ScienceDaily

2. What Is Smartphone Addiction and Is It Fueling Mental Health Problems? — Discover Magazine

3. The smartphone as a “significant other”: interpersonal dependency and attachment in maladaptive smartphone and social networks use — BioMed Central

4. Physician burnout rate drops below 50% for first time in 4 years — American Medical Association

5. Tech burnout: An ongoing mental health crisis in the industry — Talkspace

6. Surveyed lawyers report they experience burnout in their jobs more than half the time — ABA Journal