What Is Your Purpose? — Issue #3: Colette Molteni

When legacy is fueled by joy, discipline becomes effortless

Hi everyone,

Welcome to the latest edition of our biweekly series, What Is Your Purpose?

If you’re new here, this series is a space where I invite writers from across platforms to share the deeper “why” behind their work — the purpose that keeps them grounded and moving forward.

Today, I’m excited to feature someone I deeply admire. Our paths crossed, I’d say, by serendipity, and since then, we’ve found ways to support each other’s work. What you’re about to read is our first collaboration together… and I hope it’s just the beginning.

Meet Colette Molteni.

Like me, Colette comes from a tech background. But what sets her journey apart is how she chose to focus on something often overlooked in our industry: empathy.

She’s now on a mission to help thousands of tech professionals grow their careers by embracing empathy as a strength. Through her newsletter, Empathy Elevated, she brings awareness to how emotional intelligence can transform not just our work but also how we show up for others.

And while her message is rooted in tech, I believe it speaks to all of us. Empathy is a universal skill. One we all benefit from nurturing.

So as you read her reflection, I invite you to keep this question in mind:

What inspired Colette to make empathy her purpose?

Let’s hear it from her directly.

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From Analytics to Empathy: A Journey I Didn’t Plan

Rain, Soba, and a New Chapter

The evening lights had a glimmer piercing through the drizzle of rare rain on the 405 South. Heading out of LA on a Saturday evening brought the heaviness of traffic, the drudgery, and the feeling of being stuck unmoving in my car for minutes that felt like hours.

In this monotony of the drive, I reflected on what I heard that afternoon at TEDxDelthorneWomen. The people who graced the stage with such poise and intent in their words to make a difference. They would make waves beyond the confines of the rectangular room and the bright spotlight of the moment.

It was December 2nd, 2023, 10 months before my Substack went live on an unassuming Monday morning just before Halloween.

My mind felt detached at the moment, and I was one with just the steering wheel. A thought, an inspiration, popped in. It wasn't a sound or a vision but something deeper, a quiet certainty. It was like an inaudible download, flowing in without warning.

Empathy Elevated.

I could start something with this: a keynote, a course, a lecture, or a video! I wasn't sure, but it was there that I was a guide to offer as people elevated this part of their existence. I renamed some now retired social media channels over the next few days.

Over the years of working in corporate, I have found my innate ability to be more empathic and enhance my emotional intelligence. I was not always perfect, but I had some wisdom I could extol.

I stopped in Torrance for dinner. I punched it into the Notes on my phone. But once seated, I left my phone aside and reached for pen and paper, slightly smiling as I scratched down my thoughts. I sat at the bar for my dinner of warm soba, a comfort food from my early childhood in Japan.

Learning the Hard Way: My Early Encounters with Empathy

"I think you should stop playing games with me."

I said this at the hormone-driven age of 13 to a friend of mine over our corded phone, angry and jumping to conclusions that her delay in returning my call was a lie. She said her phone was down all day because of a bird that flew into it. Yeah, right!

No, it actually did happen. Our friendship quickly patched up, but I still remember when I was not at my best.

In my first year of college, my team and I were given a book about a growth mindset. I remember getting through it at home after hours and, with an eye roll, tucking it to a hidden part of my bookshelf and thinking, "Well, that's just unrealistic."

A few years after graduation, my mentor at work recommended that I read Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves. I read it and took copious notes, but life got busy, and most books at that time collected dust.

This same mentor encouraged me to apply for an open analytics role that had never occurred to me (spoiler alert: I've now been in Analytics for just over a decade).

He was onto something.

A couple of years ago, well into my career, now in a Senior Analyst role, I grabbed the book from the garage, sitting in a box of other books I could not bear to part with when we moved out of the apartment a few years back.

I reread it one afternoon.

Then I started reading more. It was as if a once-dormant part of me had been reawakened. I started reading so much that I needed to reactivate my library card.

The data was easy. The spreadsheet calculations and software deployments could be done in my sleep.

Diffusing tension in a room of leaders looking at a terrible forecast? Not so much.

I had always been told I was fairly empathic, but much of it lay hidden, in the name of trying to remain "professional" or "objective." But this human piece was, well, the missing piece.

As an analyst, what is something I do well? I analyze.

I started reading, writing, and talking about empathy and emotional intelligence with diligence and almost obsession.

Planting the Seeds: Launching Empathy Elevated

I launched Substack to find a platform on which to meaningfully write about my passion for building empathy in the workforce (especially tech) and in our daily lives.

I have been disciplined, writing weekly. I have not missed a week in the 6+ months I have been on here so far. How?

I always have a post or two prepared ahead of time. This was a lifesaver one week when I got excruciatingly ill in early February.

I always write my ideas in my Google Notes app, so I never run out of ideas. It can be a song that reminds me of a memory, a sight of beauty, or an act of kindness observed.

I wake up on weekdays at 5:21 a.m. This gives me a good hour to write, engage online with my connections around the world, and meditate in the stillness of the early morning hours.

The coffee I sip with its sprinkle of cinnamon gives me warmth, but seeing empathy expounding through my words and resonating with others warms my soul in a way no drink ever could. It is not the ego that is being fed, but rather that surge of excitement I felt when I pulled over for soba that chilly December evening 2023, with the simple thought of Empathy Elevated.

Staying Disciplined in a Shifting World

The world is chaotic. It is not just now, but it seems especially that way. As a millennial, I vividly remember 9/11, the Great Recession, and the Pandemic. Each event left its mark, shaping how I view uncertainty and resilience. I wonder if we are heading into another dark era, even if brief, as they always are in the blink of an eye.

In the confines of my stucco home, I am shielded from the rain and the storms, yet the chaos is just a thumb click away on my iPhone.

I stay disciplined, though, in my mission of Empathy Elevated by remembering the excitement and pure joy in its mission. It is a legacy that will pass well beyond when I walk this earth.

My mission is that many more can learn to elevate their empathy, regardless of age.

If we can cross the bridge into each other's experiences, imagine the oneness we could build as humanity.

We spend most of our days at work, so that is where I begin.

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Thank you so much, Colette, for sharing your story.

One thing that really stood out to me in Colette’s piece — and deeply resonated — was the idea of legacy.

Legacy isn’t usually something we set out to create when we first start writing. I know I didn’t. Like Colette, I began sharing my thoughts simply as a way to explore a personal journey — in my case, mastering self-discipline; in hers, cultivating empathy in the workplace.

But somewhere along the way, something shifted.

I realized I wasn’t just writing for myself anymore. I was leaving behind something that could outlive me. A record of growth. A reflection of values. A quiet gift to my children — and, to my surprise, to the 275+ people who show up to read this newsletter.

At first, I thought of legacy as something private. Something you leave behind quietly. But why keep it hidden when it could help others too?

When we’re rooted in a deeper purpose, whether that’s changing the status quo, building more empathetic spaces, or leaving something meaningful behind, staying disciplined no longer feels like a chore. As Colette beautifully put it, it becomes about reconnecting with the excitement and pure joy behind the mission.

Have a wonderful week!

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This guest post was written by Colette Molteni. She writes on the expansion of our empathy, both in our personal and work lives, with a focus in the world of tech.

Find Colette Substack through the Empathy Elevated Substack and on LinkedIn. Follow along her journey for a big announcement later this year!

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If you’ve made it this far — thank you for your interest!

I always appreciate feedback, thoughts, questions, or collaboration ideas. Feel free to reach out anytime at camilo@self-disciplined.com.

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