This piece touched something deep in me. Discipline is never neutral, it’s often inherited. We learn it through the atmosphere we grew up in: what was rewarded, what was punished, what had to be hidden to stay safe. And so many of us confuse “discipline” with being controlled… or with controlling ourselves harshly.
What’s healing for me now is realizing I get to choose what I keep. I can keep steadiness, responsibility, and follow-through, but release the parts that were fear-based, perfectionistic, or rooted in approval. I’m learning a different kind of discipline: one that includes listening, compassion, and boundaries that don’t require shame.
To me, real discipline is self-respect in motion. Not punishment. Not performance. A relationship with myself that stays kind, especially when I struggle. Thank you for sharing this. 🌹🦉🪶🪷
Fascinating insights! I, as someone who has struggled with discipline in my transition from adolescence to adulthood, relates to this a lot. I’ve never made the link between conditioning and a lack of discipline. In some ways I feel like I may even try to condition myself as a form of discipline haha!
Regardless, thank you Charles and Camilo for the wonderful insights.
So sorry for not answering it on time. BUT, I'm glad I saw it.
What you mention has scientific backup.
I don't think you want to condition yourself in a pavlovian way, but you want to rewire yourself so your default is to return to what matters. Neuroplasticity—the brain's ability to rewire and strengthen specific paths that are constantly reinforced—is an ally in this, and while possible, it takes practice.
That practice is discipline.
Hope you get to see this, maybe it can be of help!
Thank you for your passion for discipline! I would say empathy is the most essential quality to be learned. Discipline is essential as a means to an end, should not be an end in itself.
You know...I confused discipline with self-control for a good while. If you read my first articles I allude to self-control in many of them.
But self-control is restrictive, and I realized that self-control with self-compassion is recipe for disaster.
We need self-restraint, just as much as we need willpower. But they don't constistute discipline. They are tools that we need to master so we can know when is the right time to use them.
Agency through self-governance and choice is what lead us through compassive and sustainable growth.
Charles couldn't have said it better!
Thank you as always for your comments 🙏🙏
Discipline is a virtue we want to develop, but it shouldn't be our ultimate goal.
This piece touched something deep in me. Discipline is never neutral, it’s often inherited. We learn it through the atmosphere we grew up in: what was rewarded, what was punished, what had to be hidden to stay safe. And so many of us confuse “discipline” with being controlled… or with controlling ourselves harshly.
What’s healing for me now is realizing I get to choose what I keep. I can keep steadiness, responsibility, and follow-through, but release the parts that were fear-based, perfectionistic, or rooted in approval. I’m learning a different kind of discipline: one that includes listening, compassion, and boundaries that don’t require shame.
To me, real discipline is self-respect in motion. Not punishment. Not performance. A relationship with myself that stays kind, especially when I struggle. Thank you for sharing this. 🌹🦉🪶🪷
Wise words, Salina. Thank you for your insight.
Fascinating insights! I, as someone who has struggled with discipline in my transition from adolescence to adulthood, relates to this a lot. I’ve never made the link between conditioning and a lack of discipline. In some ways I feel like I may even try to condition myself as a form of discipline haha!
Regardless, thank you Charles and Camilo for the wonderful insights.
Hey Nate, I just saw this.
So sorry for not answering it on time. BUT, I'm glad I saw it.
What you mention has scientific backup.
I don't think you want to condition yourself in a pavlovian way, but you want to rewire yourself so your default is to return to what matters. Neuroplasticity—the brain's ability to rewire and strengthen specific paths that are constantly reinforced—is an ally in this, and while possible, it takes practice.
That practice is discipline.
Hope you get to see this, maybe it can be of help!
Discipline is the most essential quality to be imbibed since we start growing as a small kid from our early years.
We have to worship discipline to train our wards and make them understand the value of being disciplined 🦾.
Thank you for your passion for discipline! I would say empathy is the most essential quality to be learned. Discipline is essential as a means to an end, should not be an end in itself.
Correction: self-control **without** self-compassion is recipe for disaster...😆
You know...I confused discipline with self-control for a good while. If you read my first articles I allude to self-control in many of them.
But self-control is restrictive, and I realized that self-control with self-compassion is recipe for disaster.
We need self-restraint, just as much as we need willpower. But they don't constistute discipline. They are tools that we need to master so we can know when is the right time to use them.
Agency through self-governance and choice is what lead us through compassive and sustainable growth.
Thanks for sharing 🙏 🙏!