Spotlight #2: Salina Amara Gioia
How a life shaped by adversity became a testament to disciplined self-governance
Hello everyone!
Welcome to the second edition of Spotlight, our quarterly series where a guest from our Self Disciplined community talks about discipline in their own words.
Just as a refresher, our first issue featured the great and only
, who shared with us “How to dance with discipline and revive your sense of self—one gentle step at a time” On it, she discusses the symbiotic relationship between mental health and discipline and how to invite discipline into your life, even when your mental health is not at its best.Today’s guest is
, who I know as Sally. She is a special member of this community for a particular reason.When I started writing all of this, I really didn’t know if the work was actually helping anyone. People told me the writing was interesting or good, and of course that helps the ego, but I wasn’t trying to chase that. I was trying to chase impact. And I wasn’t sure if I was actually being useful to someone out there. I wanted to share something that was helping me, hoping it could help others, because I think that matters. Leaving a legacy shouldn’t be about leaving ego. It should be about leaving a real mark on others.
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In July, I posted a note on Substack. Sally commented on it with one of the most incredible and kind messages I had read at the time, and it really motivated me to continue writing. Sometimes we look for motivation, and depending on our mood or our state, it’s harder to find it inside ourselves. Her comment came at the right moment.
She told me that my work helped her feel visible. I think that is the most important thing for me: that I can help someone feel seen. That you are not alone in this uphill journey. And I want to keep doing that for you. I want to keep walking with you through this search for self-mastery, through this search for self-governance, through this effort to build coherence and stay aligned with the direction we want to take.
I also want to say this directly to Sally:
A big part of the work I’m doing today exists because I didn’t stop trying, and part of the reason I didn’t stop was the motivation I found in your note. So thank you. One more time, thank you.
Today, Sally will share how discipline has impacted her life, the role it plays for her, and how discipline has shaped the way she is experiencing life. If you want to show your support, please leave her a comment. And if this resonates, make sure to share it with others.
Without further ado, please welcome Sally.
The Discipline That Saved My Life
by Salina Amara Gioia
People often imagine discipline as structure, strict routines, color-coded calendars, or long checklists. But discipline, for me, did not begin with motivation or achievement. It started with survival, surrender, and the quiet courage to stay alive.
Marcus Aurelius wrote, “What stands in the way becomes the way.” For me, cancer became my way into discipline.
The Discipline of Surviving
I was twenty-four when I learned how fragile life truly is. My diagnosis was invasive ductal carcinoma, and in those early months, I wasn’t thinking about success or self-improvement. I was simply trying to breathe long enough to see another sunrise. Every healthy choice, every whispered prayer, every moment I refused to collapse into fear—these were acts of discipline. I didn’t have language for it then, but I was practicing the discipline of staying alive.
Seneca said, “Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.”
Nearly four decades later, I’m still here, not because I was always strong, but because discipline kept whispering, “Not yet. Keep going.”
The Discipline of Letting Go
Before I ever knew the strength of truth, I spent years as a professional people pleaser—saying yes to everything, shrinking myself to stay safe, giving more than I had in an attempt to earn love I already deserved. The hardest discipline of my life became learning to say no.
No to exhaustion dressed as devotion.
No to relationships and habits that drained me.
No to abandoning myself in the name of keeping the peace.
Epictetus reminds us, “No person is free who is not master of themselves.”
Letting go required discipline. And discipline, in that season, looked like freedom.
The Discipline of Service
My work, as a birth and death doula, Life Awareness Coach, Reiki practitioner, and holistic guide, has shaped my relationship with discipline more deeply than any philosophy or method ever could.
A doula is a trained companion who supports individuals through life’s most sacred thresholds: birth, where a new soul enters the world, and death, where a soul transitions home. This work requires presence, boundaries, humility, and emotional steadiness.
To sit beside a mother laboring to bring life forward, I must be grounded and calm.
To sit beside someone at the end of life, I must be compassionate, quiet, and steady.
To hold space for families, I must protect my own inner peace.
Marcus Aurelius wrote, “What we do now echoes in eternity.”
Service is one of those echoes. It demands a discipline made of patience, reverence, and deep respect for the fragility of life.
The Discipline of Joy
For over 30 years, I’ve been a music educator for students aged 3 to their 90s, including adults and children with special needs. Through these decades of teaching, I’ve learned that joy is not an occasional feeling; it is a discipline.
Joy is attention.
Joy is patience.
Joy is meeting people exactly where they are, without judgment.
The moments I cherish most are simple and profound: a child finding rhythm, an elder recalling a forgotten melody, a student with special needs celebrating a single sound. These moments aren’t polished. They are human. And they remind me that joy grows wherever we choose to place our attention.
The Stoics taught, “The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.”
Joy, then, becomes something we cultivate, not something we wait for.
The Discipline of Coming Home to Myself
Perhaps the deepest discipline I have learned is belonging to my own truth, not the truth others expect from me, not the truth shaped by fear or childhood survival, but the truth God placed within me.
Discipline now looks like rest, boundaries, forgiveness, silence, and courage.
It looks like allowing myself to take up space after years of shrinking.
It looks like honoring my emotions with gentleness instead of shame.
Every morning, I ask, “What does my soul need to stay aligned with grace today?”
Whatever the answer is becomes my discipline.
Epictetus wrote, “First say to yourself what you would be; then do what you have to do.”
Coming home to myself is my daily practice.
Discipline as Devotion
My journey with discipline is not a story of triumph—it is a story of becoming. A story of surviving, softening, rising, and returning to myself again and again. A story of discovering that discipline is not punishment.
Discipline is devotion.
Devotion to healing.
Devotion to peace.
Devotion to service.
Devotion to joy.
Devotion to the quiet, steady voice of God.
And through my holistic brand, Joyful Journey in Grace, I hope to remind others that discipline, when rooted in love, becomes a path toward wholeness.
Thanks, Sally, for sharing your world and your story with us. I think part of what connects us in this community is the capacity to be vulnerable.
We are not sharing our stories to commiserate but to show that there is a way forward. There is light at the end, and you have a group of humans facing similar struggles, willing to lend you a hand if you need it.
Many of us have gone through a moment of epiphany that pulled us toward an idea of discipline. We didn’t have a name for it then, but we knew it required action to reach a higher goal. In Sally’s case, that action was survival.
With time, you discover that this practice is what many call discipline. And once you spend enough time with it, you see how personal it becomes. Each journey looks different, yet most of them aim toward the same thing: self-governance.
Self-governance is the act of managing yourself according to your principles and values. As you increase your self-governance, you begin to align your actions with your beliefs. It’s not a one-to-one mapping, but people who are more self-governed tend to act in ways that create both external and internal coherence.
When I talk about self-governance, I’m not talking about asceticism. I’m talking about managing yourself in a way that pushes you to act in alignment, even on the days when you don’t feel like it. That’s where self-discipline comes in. Through repetition, coherence becomes second nature.
Sally shows us that consistent practice, continuous learning, and steady discipline can take you far and help you develop the version of self-governance that fits you. In her life, self-governance looked like:
Refusing to give up in the face of adversity
Accepting the need to let go
Allowing herself to experience and cultivate joy
Coming home to herself after years of shrinking
So, to complement what she said, that discipline leads to wholeness, I’d add that discipline also leads to coherence and freedom.
Sally shows that a life of discipline is not a life of punishment. It is a life of freedom: the freedom to choose yourself.
In my next paid companion, we will train the capacity to let yourself return to your principles, whether that means letting go, pushing through, or choosing joy. Whatever shape your return takes, it belongs to you.
Until then, let Sally’s experience remind you that discipline is present in everything we do. It’s continuous, deliberate practice and learning, all aimed at becoming a better version of ourselves.
Have a wonderful week!
Salina Amara Gioia is a Life Awareness Coach, birth and death doula, Reiki practitioner, and holistic healing guide. For more than three decades, she has accompanied people through life’s most tender thresholds — welcoming new life, honoring final moments, and supporting the many transformations in between.
A longtime music educator, she has taught students from early childhood to their nineties, including individuals with special needs. Her work blends spirituality, caregiving, and the healing power of music into a single path of service.
Salina is also a 38-year cancer survivor whose journey shaped her relationship with discipline, surrender, and grace. Through her holistic practice, Joyful Journey in Grace, she helps others seek healing, clarity, and a return to their own truth.
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