Shoot the arrow

Don't try to control the uncontrollable.

Sep 21, 2024

Hey everyone! It’s me again.

I’m a software engineer by trade, and the example I’m about to give is definitely drawn from my own experience. But I’m sure you can see how it fits into your own world too.

Picture this: you’re in the middle of a job interview. You nailed the coding challenge, crushed the system design round—everything’s looking solid!

Then comes the last piece: the behavioral interview. You’re talking for what feels like forever, and the interviewer is just sitting there, giving nothing away. No smiles, no nods—nothing. You’re left thinking, Did I mess up? Was that a bad answer? Should I have said something different?

It’s Friday, and you won’t hear back until Monday (if you’re lucky). You spend the whole weekend stressing out, overanalyzing every little thing you said, wondering what the outcome will be.

Sound familiar? But here’s the thing: Why do we put ourselves through that?

Sure, my example is about a job interview for a software engineer position, but this could be any moment in life where you’re waiting on something outside of your control—like waiting for the results of an important test, an email response that feels like it’s taking forever, or that text message you finally sent to your crush.

We’ve all been there, right? Obsessing over how things will turn out when we don’t really have control over the outcome. Instead of moving on, we get stuck in our heads, playing out all the “what ifs.”

But here’s the truth: you can’t control what’s uncontrollable.

One of the best examples of this is the Streisand Effect.

The Streisand Effect: When You Try to Control What You Can’t

The Streisand Effect is when someone tries to hide or suppress something, but in doing so, they unintentionally make it even more public.

Back in 2003, Barbra Streisand wanted to remove an aerial photo of her house from a collection documenting California's coastline erosion. The photo had barely been noticed—only six downloads, two of them by her lawyers. But when she sued to have it removed, the story blew up. The lawsuit brought massive attention to the photo, and suddenly, it was everywhere. Thousands of people saw it because of her efforts to take it down.

This is a classic example of trying to control something that’s beyond control—especially when it comes to information on the internet. Streisand wanted the photo gone, but her actions made it way more visible than it ever would’ve been.

So, what’s the takeaway?

You wait. You keep moving forward. You practice self-discipline, and most importantly, you learn patience.

Epictetus, the Stoic philosopher, offers a perfect metaphor to sum this up: the archer.

Epictetus talks about how an archer can control the shot—pulling back the bow, aiming, and letting go. But once that arrow leaves the bow, everything else—wind, distance, obstacles—is out of their control. Whether the arrow hits the target or not isn’t something they can control. The Stoic lesson here is clear: focus on your actions and what you can control, and let go of what you can’t.

Once that arrow is shot, it’s out of your hands. All you can do is trust that you’ve done your part.

Life is Full of Arrows We Shoot

We’re all shooting arrows in different parts of life. Whether it’s investing, trying to get healthier, or working on relationships—it all requires patience, discipline, and trust in the process.

So instead of worrying about things that are out of your hands, put your energy into what you can control. Trust your effort and let go of the rest.

Focus on your goal, stay disciplined, and trust the process.

Have an amazing week!